Lack of creativity… thanks to butterflies. Lack of interest… thanks to blood boiling. Lack of effort… thanks to attraction.
Yes… It be a girl. An amazing one at that. But fuck… she pisses me right off…
Its not that I don’t want to blog – I am very passionate about it. Its an easy escape to the absurdities that surround us. Writing can make no sense at all, and still be strangely intriguing (although… conveyance of meaning is kinda significant… occasionally ;) ).
Urgh… my mind has been taken over… and by thoughts of this beautiful flower – hastily infiltrating my sub-conscious, mercilessly entertaining my anxieties, and slowly eating away at the last bit of sanity I am latching onto. I must either do something about it. Or forget about it. The latter seems morally appropriate for what has occurred.
Fuck… Why do I have to like this girl? I’m not fucking desperate. Neither have I purposefully manufactured these meanderings within my neurological sweatshop. Its ridiculous and wicked at the same time.
Thus… surely desire should overwhelm the feeling of possible rejection?
Whats weird is… I am in much love with my new found freedom too. Its awesome meeting such strange and wonderful people – not that all of them of that interesting. Ha!.
These days… I meet a girl. I get to know a girl. Then I decide if I can temporarily mend these broken nerves, in an effort to confidently attempt to kiss the girl – without spawning random entities from the depths of bad-romance novels.
And… What follows my method of attraction, is not what I casually observe on a regular basis. Even my mates say I’m a bit of a poof when it comes to this… “I give in too easily“, “You need more options“, “Go tap a random ass“, “You’re a poof“… I understand the logic behind it. As obsession is a bad thing. But this isn’t fucking obsession. Life will prevail regardless of the outcome. What really bothers me is, the thought of letting this intellectual profound, naturally stunning yet emotionally cold girl… just pass me by. She has character, mystery and a curious nature… which for me, is the mother-fucking definition of absolute awesome – coated with Dr Pepper.
Fuck… I’m too selective with women. And I’m smiley, yet lacking my sense of humour at present?
No thanks to my sleep either…
As even my dreams are being ruthlessly assaulted by swarms of in-flight disasters… Thanks to upcoming Joburg trip…