Its theme day again… Which (between Mark and I) is about as inconsistent as my ability to decipher (on a daily basis) what reality I am currently in.
Anyways, the focus today is on the ridiculously overrated male gene – call it what you will… an accident, a mistake, an error in evolution.
We are what we are. Pricks, with pricks.
Now… when I accepted this post topic, I knew it would be awfully challenging… Ie having to avoid cliche’s… stereotypes, and blatant generalizations. As we all in some way unique… I hope. However, there are a few life experiences that we all encounter – Ill probably fail miserably at listing them though.
For instance, I’d go as far as to say… men generally (ha!) ‘feel’ – its programmed from birth. And as our adventure through life moves forward, different emotions are felt… ignored, pushed aside etc… which slowly builds up our character, and our level of empathy/compassion/sympathy for those around us. Unfortunately though, its survival of the fittest on this planet, and it is exactly that reason why, we still have huge muscle-bound gladiators feeding on the bottom feeders. Goods genes are essential. But what is a good fucking gene? Might, strength, agility, and apathy?
This is why I chose sometime ago, to be myself… rather than fall into some predominant male category of surfer, skater, jock, playa, pimp… I would hate myself if I were a sheep. But honestly though… some of these unsympathetic beasts with tree-trunk-like limbs, are just putting up a front. Ive seen this. Observed this (where the alpha male – that one guy everyone knows who brushes their teeth with a Tabasco-Sauce-coated brick – goes home, and spends hours building up that self-esteem, in order to do what he does best).
But its not all about the male ego… There are many activities we do indulge in, that are very much apart of being a funny creature man.
For instance…
If we live long enough, we will probably all have given beer a taste. And most of us, will never give it up as our favourite alcoholic drink.
Masturbation is another… Sure women do it. But have they ever 5 times in one day? Now thats…
Making a fire – I was a late bloomer when it came to this. But it basically falls into the same category as burning anything down… in your lifetime (which I’m pretty certain we have all accidentally done).
Getting into a fistfight – even if you going to lose.
Spending most of our time in the shower washing them important bits.
Shooting snot out ya nose while playing footy with the boys.
Spitting… Or manufacturing the ultimate loogie for competitive streets sports.
Staying fit – this should be compulsory.
Driving like a tool, with one arm out the window.
Believing you are a superhero.
Eating a monster steak.
Learning to shave… the hardway – ie against the grain.
Pissing with a hard-on…
Burning ants with a magnified glass and pouring salt on snails for childhood entertainment.
However one of the wisest pieces of advice I have ever taken to heart, is to never hate a women. Its crucial for our existence. Its crucial for us as a male.
No matter how many times the ice queen rains victorious, just let go. Smile. And move on. Its silly to hate em.
Apart from that, the second piece of significant advice, is to never pick on the weak – its immoral. And to never antagonize the strong without cause – its stupid.
Nuff said.
