Lucky Underpants

At the absolute most… one person happened to question me yesterday regarding my use of Lucky Boxer Shorts – Yes, they really are that awesome.

Which has kinda placed me in a bit of a pickle with common norms. As I have always – okay, since I got my first pair of satin boxers – believed that everyone has their favourite pick of bonafied jocks?

Am I delusional? Is this just weird?

Beginning of explanation.

I cant explain precisely where the luck comes from, or if the material is in fact soaked in some diabolically-manipulated lucktanium. However… what I can say, with complete certainty and undocumented experience, is that these respective-luck-candidates do possess… a supernaturally unexplainable, scientifically unfeasible, and mechanically indestructible power – thats unknown to most retarded fish, as well a rare type of subterranean beetle.

Which, oddly enough, is the reason why they are known as… Lucky Boxer Shorts. My Lucky Boxer Shorts. Mine.

However, apart from their mystical tendencies, the actual boxer short itself can also – depending on consecutive use, colour timestamp, foreign smell ratio, and my current state of mind – be replaced by another lucky pair, at any time (without the option to defend the current, or even question its succeeder).
So yes, it can even be replaced before an evening date with Megan Fox… or during the national election… or while pissing at the urinal next to a horse.

Hey, I dont make the rules.

End of explanation.

And so I believe… Over the short time I have lived(on this forsaken blue circle filled with strange artificial happiness, and unanswerable questions), I have probably been through around 12-17 pairs of Lucky Boxer Shorts – all of which, have been flawlessly perfect in every architectural way.

Artistically and historically superb they are/were.

So.. to end this ridiculous waste of your time, I’d highly suggest – if you dont want to die a lonely, boring and luck-free death – to climb inside that cupboard/chest of drawers/whatever… and locate yourself a Lucky Bloody Pair of Underpants?

Or have you a pair already?