I have this ever increasing dread that one day I will be found guilty, and punished, for something I didn’t do. Its horrid. Worse than horrid.
I dont know when it started, but I have a feeling it was around the time I began collecting slips. What kind of slips u ponder? Till slips, Bank slips, Receipts, Invoices, Statements… All slips – even cinema ticket stubs. None get by me. I have 3 shoe boxes flooding with these slips…
Each slip has a date and time – which, to my knowledge, should be valid in court; Well… It bloody well better be!
However, it wasn’t until the other day that I noticed…
By combining these shoe boxes, they have ultimately become my day to day diary. Obviously not a very informative one, and I highly doubt it will match up against any top fictional novel, but nevertheless, a diary – filled with bad financial decisions, and ridiculous purchases.
My diary has several entries for almost every single day of my life, for the past couple of years. As well as time stamps, proof of location, and a fancy number to dial in case I’m bored, home alone and looking for some sexual arousal.
All and all, I like to think that each slip proves my innocence(in advance). And that it wasn’t me who took that chocolate bar from that store when i was 14.
It. Wasn’t. Me.