I was reading somewhere that the world is somehow going to dramatically end. Its apparently going to be an amazing theatrical performance followed by that ear soothing classic – “We are the champions” by Freddie Mercury.
Okay, I lie, I wasn’t reading it anywhere. But wouldn’t it be pretty sweet? The unknowing outcome of apparent doom followed by ending credits!
I can only imagine the chaos – everyone running around, not knowing what to do, where to go, who to shag.
News reporters reporting their final broadcasts up until the very end, with no care for their family or their own life.
Religious peeps make way to the nearest bottle stores, while alcoholics make way to the nearest churches.
Politicians sell all their shares, while comrade Mugabe takes refuge in the Federal Reserve.
Criminals blaming God, while God blames Global Warming. Global Warming says “Fuck You”, I did jack shit.
Celebrities wake up at 13:00pm to breakfast in bed, then make their way down to their personal grooming parlor for 5 hours of massage and luxurious pampering… Oh wait… nothing new.
Asians going underground, while North Americans react with Nukes. Australians ducking their heads in the sand, while the Europeans enjoy a final orgasm. Antarctica, well theres no one fucking there so who gives a hoot, but half of Africa, forgotten 3rd world Africa, well we probably wont know about it till we dead.
Ahh, the sweet voluptuous aroma of the unknown…
Then… BAM!
The end.
*Credits roll in*
And no, it doesn’t star that twat Tom Cruise.

