Scammers Suck

Yes, I fucking dislike you intensely.

No, Im not going to listen to your bullshit story about you losing your job, your mom kicking you out and something about malnutrition which has resulted in post-elongated, testicle erosion.

You look like a narcotic abuser. You smell like a narcotic abuser. Your teeth are decaying like a narcotic abuser. And you are most likely a narcotic abuser thats fucking with my good Samaritan ways. So, kindly aim in that direction and Fuck. Off.

Take your co-narcotic-abusing girlfriend who is trying to scam that old lady of there, with you.

*Breath Craigi son*

I’m so annoyed with scammers. Especially the retarded ones:

• That always use the same bullshit story.
  
• That never remember your face, even if they attempted to scam you 3 minutes earlier.
  
• That reside in your area.
  
• That when done scamming for the day, they trot along, and proceed to use a taxi to get home.
  
• That don’t wash?
  
• That scam using their unfortunate situation in such detail, that a listener almost never falls it.

Fuck.

It reminds me of a few years back, when I worked up on Buitengracht St… Upon walking home, 4 days in a row. 4 days in a row. I repeat, 4 days in a row. On the same bloody street each day. Some dirty, grimy, pungent dude used this..

“Hi, im in a band, and desperately trying to get to sea point. We playing a show tonight, and if I don’t get there in time. I could be kicked out the band.”

He never remembered my face, until I went crazy on him the 4th time. I didn’t see the guy for over a year, until the day we moved offices. He was still using the same story..

It makes me wonder how many people, scammers can go through a day?

Anyways, the next worse, is this couple that one can find around Cape Town CBD. They look like shit. And spend the majority of their time, around Gardens Centre(but can be found elsewhere). They will jump through bushes, cross main intersections without checking traffic, interrupt during cell phone conversations and paraglyde off fucking Table Mountain, to get your attention.

The chicks story is (usually always the same):

“Hi, please help me. Its so terrible. I don’t know what to do. *Puppy face*. My boyfriend beat me up last night, and kicked me out. I have no where to go. *proceeds to blabber on until stopped*.”

The dude is an asshole, and if u ignore him, he will follow you further than 1km. Seriously. I once had head phones on, and he followed me from Hiddingh Campus to Gardens Centre. Until I eventually couldn’t handle his annoying, “Excuse me, Sir, Excuse me, Sir, sorry I was just wandering, Sir, excuse me, Sir.“. Eventually I told him that I have no time for his lies. He passionately told me im a dick, then ran across the road to bother someone else.

They should be salesmen. So persistent. So optimistic. So talented. So full of bullshit.