So I was doing the grocery shopping yesterday and while waiting in line, I noticed a reasonably aged women purchasing, amongst other things, 1 ply toilet paper. I almost gagged.
To explain, I have been living with me lady for sometime now, as well as roommates before, so im quite used to living around other people. One thing I know that stands out the most, is who prefers what toilet paper. For example, My gf, Mike(friend) and I, Intensely dislike settling for 1 ply. As well, the majority of women I know, prefer 2 ply.
So.. I have always believed women preferred 2 ply? It seems like it should be feminine norm right? Well yea, I believed that up until yesterday.
I carefully began to study those around me..
My conclusion unfortunately lacks any philosophical evidence. As I certainly didn’t chat to any of them or know their background. However I am hoping to get some kind of personality insight through this. Using looks and type of toilet roll purchased.
There are only 3 categories, as I have never met anyone that wipes with a fluffy towel or gold ply.
So onto the 1 ply’s. I feel you are either insensitive towards your needs or needs of those around you, or you care not much for health or the people you come into contact with. Alternatively, things like pain/discomfort you don’t fear. Or you are just plain cheap. Ultimately, you couldn’t care less about having a rashy ass and evidently your priorities are slightly screwed up. 
2 ply, you are sensitive to yourself or others and possibly look after yourself in more ways than one(not just on external appearance). Alternatively, you don’t enjoy pain/discomfort or you are not afraid to spend a bit more save your ass. I would think you prefer taking a shit before you shower if possible.
3 ply. I havnt met many of you, but i trust you are over the top. Probably spending far too much time on yourself. You may as well lay a red carpet down every time u hit the bathroom. You probably think very highly of yourself. Expecting the 3 ply toilet paper to be in perfect view and reach when entering the isle.
What ply are you?
Ps. I’m probably far off here. So don’t get too harsh on the comments. This is purely for a bit of thought and maybe a laugh. No evidence is present. These are not facts. Its me, being the dufus that I am, ranting about shit. In more ways than one.
June 19th, 2008 at 12:08 pm
What’s so bad about 1-ply? When I was a poor student living in a flat on my own, I used nothing but 1-ply. For bog roll, for applying makeup, for kitchen use, in place of tissues… Never had any rashes or anything. Since moving in with the bf tho it’s become habit to buy the expensive baby bog roll. What is it men like about the 2-ply? Could it perhaps be the cute little puppy imprints that make it preferable?
June 19th, 2008 at 12:24 pm
If it doesnt have puppies or butterflies, I ain’t down with that roll. :/
But thanks for clearing up that 1ply = cheap for some. :0 hehe
I once was forced to wipe my ass with this 1ply roll that felt like cardboard. And I have the ’scars’ to prove it dammit!
June 20th, 2008 at 1:04 pm
Because for guys going to the bog is an experience … its like our private time where we get to go and relax and just think about life, the universe and why our left testicle hangs lower than the right … we like to read and sometimes even talk to ourselves … its just our time to spend with ourselves … so yes … having some decent bog roll sorta rounds out the relaxing moment …
Think about it this way … imagine if after you have had your orgasm(s) your SO proceeded to wipe your punani with sandpaper … suddenly those orgasms are quickly forgotten …
June 20th, 2008 at 1:10 pm
Oi.. Keep it clean.
June 24th, 2008 at 3:20 pm
4 ply toilet paper – that is the real luxury. Have yet to see it in SA, but in Germany, you can’t buy 1 or 2 ply TP (well in the shops I went to anyway).
June 25th, 2008 at 11:00 am
“Premium toilet paper may have lotion and wax, and has two to four plies made of very finely pulped paper.”
Found on Wikipedia.
June 25th, 2008 at 12:36 pm
Firstly, wikipedia really is the source of everything … even has premium toilet paper …
Secondly, who the fuck reads or worse still added/updated the premium toilet paper entry (besides you Craig) …
June 26th, 2008 at 10:59 am
This is an issue isnt it.
My housemate came home with toilet paper that resembled perferrated cardboard. I think the 12 pack came with free scissors. We made it through 2 or 3 rolls and then settled using it for kevlar to and from work.
Im a one ply guy. Dont really give a fuck. Unless its the TP ive just been speaking about.
Im under the impression that 1 ply uses less paper or recylced paper or recylced what ever they use, but what ever it is it must use less than 2 ply,3 ply or gold ply.
So therefore 1 ply must be more eco responsible which means im in.
And besides its just my ass, i sit on it my whole life, i try to keep it quiet, and all it does is talk shit.
October 2nd, 2008 at 2:07 am
What the Dickens?
So that’s what Freud missed! He should have been psychoanalyzing people based on their ply-icity!
October 2nd, 2008 at 8:16 am
Sensitivity levels? Pride? self worth? haha
April 4th, 2010 at 10:59 am
Myself i prefer 2-ply…i dont feel like having that cheap shit tearing and getting shit on my hands…2-PLY ALL THE WAY!!…no sandpaper for my ass….and if your so worried about ecomical issues…buy one of those that squirts your ass with water to clean it or something i mean seriously…and if it doesn’t have some sort of picture of an animal…it dont matter if its 1 ply or 2…its cheap and will tear anyways….AND I DONT WANT SHIT ON MY HANDS SO IM GOING TO BUY GOOD TOILET PAPER!……(2-ply 4 ever)