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14
May

Finding a good mattress

By Craig |

Yesterday my girlfriend and I were strolling through town, when we decided to go look at some mattresses.

To explain. I have been using a futon since i was 16, its been my pride and joy. Since then, I have taken it to every flat ive lived in. However since my girlfriend and I have moved in(completely), we have become overly annoyed with my futon and its coldblooded  insensitivity towards our backs. For 6 years, I have probably turned it 5 times, and loosened the material inside once(which was recently). All in all, it has come to my attention, that its probably better sleeping on a staircase than on this monstrosity.

What I find even stranger, is that I am unsure as to why it bothers me so much now, and why it didn’t back then? But sleeping on that thing is dreadful.

My conclusion is, that this comfortable sleeping thing is a load of hogwash. And is purely media controlling your mind. Im looking forward to the day when they help pick my car for me, as well as my clothing line, and force me into upgrading my cell phone to this seconds’ technological phase.

Anyway, so we checked 3 different stores. And eventually came across one with a sale on King Coils, for R2000. It was a rip-off, im sure. I could be happy with a new R600 futon for the next few years. After checking the sale, we had a look at what else there is to offer, R5 999, R7 999, R4 599…. etc. I was confused. How much better could they possibly make a bed. Some were priced at almost double and all they had was a lil catchy line of, “added coils”. Could I really feel those added coils? I dunno. So we took the cheap one. And im glad. As after some searching online, I realized that overpriced beds are bullocks. And are purely for elegance.

A lil bit of advice: Preferably choose one of the cheapest name brands, ie Sealy, King Coil and Simmons. Now i understand that its hard to determine whether you will like a bed in 5 mins, especially with a pest of a salesmen spitting random mattress jargon at ya, but attempt to choose one by its hard/softness. It shouldn’t be too hard, nor too soft. Dont be afraid to roll around a bit. Also, ignore all the fancy words that mattress manufactures throw at you, all that added stuff seems to equal up to luxury more so than quality and comfortable sleeping.

Happy bed hunting.



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About the Author:


Craig is a promiscuous pimp by profession. Who's hobbies include: Working and studying at varsity, licking dry ice, picking scabs, and burning tyres on highways.
Apart from partaking in the first ever sperm race - which accidentally kick-started the human race, this Darwin-award winning creature is also a big fan of fresh breast milk.

If you would like to read the less precise biography of this national hero, please see the About page above or Click Here to follow me on Twitter.

Possibly Related:


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